Question.... kids on the ship while you're in port?

cheermom2four · Jul 27, 2017

I think it just depends on your child and really isnt a matter of age. We have left our dd5 on the ship for 4 hours while we were on a morning dcl excursion with our DS16 (snorkeling). She was safer there than trying to snorkel with us and we really enjoyed ourselves. After the 4 hours we went back rejuvenated and happy and so was our dd when we picked her up (even though she didnt want to leave the kids club lol). We also didnt utilize the clubs for her unless she asked to go there during the entire cruise except this one time. On our next cruise, we wont be leaving her on the ship (even though I originally said we would on another post a couple months ago) as the dcl excursions are very long and we have been watching our dd lately now that we are close to our cruise we realize she could not handle being away from family for 11 hours. She will probably not even go into the clubs unless its open house time. Now our teen son, we will have to find him as he loves the teen club and was always in the club or hanging around friends he had met. We only had one rule with him and that was breakfast and dinner was family time to either go over what our plans are and to catch up and come together as a family.

MUN · Jul 27, 2017

FigmentSpark said:
At what age would you leave the kids on the ship while you go into port? Or would you do it at all?

I don't mean take a tender in and go for the day, but maybe just in to the port area for shopping or a walk around?

I haven't bothered to read the other 6 pages of posts; however, I will offer my opinion. If they are old enough to be left alone in the kids club, then I think it is ok to leave them on the ship when you get off to go to port.

MUN

elvispursley · Jul 27, 2017

NewsMom said:
So true. I love my job. I still take my vacation. Not just because it's something I'm entitled to, but because recharging myself makes me a better employee. Having a minute to breathe here and there makes me a better parent, too.

Agreed! Same can be said for taking time to spend with your spouse makes for a better marriage and thus a stronger family. I'm embarrassed to admit that before we had our kids, my DH and I actually uttered to ourselves one time that we would never let our kids get in the way of us having "date night" at least once/week :rotfl:

Yeah, so when we had our first child, reality hit and I was sooo sleep deprived, all I wanted to do in my spare time was sleep! I think date night might happen a few times a year with everyone's busy schedule?! I totally giggled when @Maggie'sMom mentioned not being able to have a moment to yourself to use the bathroom. I remember those days only now it's where I retreat when I need a moment to myself to escape from all the males in the house and when we're on vacation!!

cruiser21 · Jul 27, 2017

elvispursley said:
Agreed! Same can be said for taking time to spend with your spouse makes for a better marriage and thus a stronger family. I'm embarrassed to admit that before we had our kids, my DH and I actually uttered to ourselves one time that we would never let our kids get in the way of us having "date night" at least once/week Yeah, so when we had our first child, reality hit and I was sooo sleep deprived, all I wanted to do in my spare time was sleep! I think date night might happen a few times a year with everyone's busy schedule?! I totally giggled when @Maggie'sMom mentioned not being able to have a moment to yourself to use the bathroom. I remember those days only now it's where I retreat when I need a moment to myself to escape from all the males in the house and when we're on vacation!!

When my kids were in diapers I used to fantasize about going to nice hotel for a couple of days and just sleeping. I was so sleep deprived having 2 under the age of 3. I never did it, but looking back on it I should of. If I had to it all over again I would do this probably more than once. Of course I say this about a lot of things I've done in the past. Hind sight is 20/20.

elvispursley · Jul 27, 2017

LOL! I, too, had 2 under the age of 3 and then I stupidly thought I should try working some on top of that because I finally got hired for my dream job. Oi! Then I increased my hours to full-time!! I really was sleep deprived

I think back on it now and I probably shouldn't have been treating patients in that state!!

Amandine · Jul 27, 2017

Cruiser21, I fantasize the same thing, though I've never managed to make it happen. Convincing the toddler that mommy can shower without company would be awesome too, lol.

elvispursley · Jul 27, 2017

Amandine said:
Cruiser21, I fantasize the same thing, though I've never managed to make it happen. Convincing the toddler that mommy can shower without company would be awesome too, lol.

Take heart, one day your toddler will be a teenager and then you'll be wishing for those days back again (well, ok, maybe not the days where you couldn't take a shower by yourself

). Now I find myself yelling at my teen to please go take a shower!!

wilkeliza · Jul 27, 2017

cruiser21 said:
When my kids were in diapers I used to fantasize about going to nice hotel for a couple of days and just sleeping. I was so sleep deprived having 2 under the age of 3. I never did it, but looking back on it I should of. If I had to it all over again I would do this probably more than once. Of course I say this about a lot of things I've done in the past. Hind sight is 20/20.

The best advice I've gotten that I hope I remember if I ever have little ones is to just let someone you trust have them for even an hour as early on as possible. My friend told me that after her mom showed up and said go sleep I'll watch the baby and she swears it saved her.

Maggie'sMom · Jul 28, 2017

elvispursley said:
I totally giggled when @Maggie'sMom mentioned not being able to have a moment to yourself to use the bathroom. I remember those days only now it's where I retreat when I need a moment to myself to escape from all the males in the house and when we're on vacation!!

Glad I was able to elicit a giggle. Unfortunately, someone must not have liked that post because it's disappeared. :confused3

Oh well... I can totally relate to retreating to the bathroom. There have been times I must have lingered a bit too long enjoying the solitude because my DD will knock and ask if I'm okay because I've been in the bathroom so long.

I think a lot of parents struggle with how to balance protecting their children while still teaching them independence and self-reliance. And it's complicated because times have changed. How I was raised would never fly in today's society. When I was little, my mom had a bell and the rule was you had to be close enough to the house to hear the bell, and it was a decent sized bell so the sound carried a ways. When she rang it, it was time to come home. Until then, we'd be running all over the neighborhood. I walked home about 5 blocks from half day kindergarten by myself at age 5. I was babysitting at age 10. So looking at the OP's situation, I don't see anything wrong with leaving a 12 year old on the ship to go to the Edge while shopping in the port area for an hour or two. I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving a 12 year old to go on an all day excursion, but this was a couple hours and within walking distance of the ship.

cruiser21 · Jul 28, 2017

elvispursley said:
Take heart, one day your toddler will be a teenager and then you'll be wishing for those days back again (well, ok, maybe not the days where you couldn't take a shower by yourself ). Now I find myself yelling at my teen to please go take a shower!!

This made me laugh. I have teenage boy that stinks so bad. He showers everyday and uses deodorant. I spray he's room with febreeze. The smells still there. Now I fantasize about washing him in bleach.

Anchors Away 2016 · Jul 28, 2017

wilkeliza said:
The best advice I've gotten that I hope I remember if I ever have little ones is to just let someone you trust have them for even an hour as early on as possible. My friend told me that after her mom showed up and said go sleep I'll watch the baby and she swears it saved her.

Sorry if my response is a little off topic, but one of the reasons we moved back to our home town before our sons were born was to be closer to relatives. Not only so we could recharge (though I think that is great!), but also so that the kids could be exposed to being cared for by others, and so that they could understand from a young age that "family" isn't just Mom and Dad and Sister and Brother, family is a whole community of people that you trust and are close to. (Don't have to be related, either.) This is good for them (IMO). For this reason (and not just for free childcare) we often bring their grandparents or their Aunts and Uncles (and their children) with us on vacation, so they get comfortable with the idea that family is larger than just the people who live in your house.

Even now that they are older, we do this. Our last cruise was with my sister's family and my mother. My sons love traveling with their cousins (they have several sets.) Of course, sometimes this makes us feel like second class citizens, as our sons always are bummed a bit if we aren't bringing one set of cousins or another with us.

Of course, to get back on topic, this makes it easier to leave them on the ship (or elsewhere) alone if they have cousins with them. Earlier this summer we took our teen-aged sons to Six Flags with two of their teen-aged cousins and we barely saw the four of them. It was an adjustment for US, but they loved it. And we still saw them plenty before and after the trip to hear all about their adventures.

PurplePencil · Jul 28, 2017

bbel said:
While this might be OK with you. I can see a number of parents that wouldn't be too pleased. You get your kid back ask them what they did they tell you they were being called names. You asked your kid what was done?
Oh they told them to stop and told me to suck it up because bullying happens anywhere and everywhere....
Happy vacation!

Most parents I met were actually quite pleased that we told if their kids didn't have a great time. Explained what happened and told them what was done.
And yes. Parents from both sides are informed.

FigmentSpark said:
Thanks. Maybe you're right, but there was tone in her voice. But maybe, as we were discussing it, I had tone, too (I am an emotional speaker). I did make sure to mention that I had complete trust in all their counsellors, as I know they are all well qualified, some even being teachers. I think she was ready to argue a point with me and was surprised that I said that, as she could then only agree with me. We left on a positive note, I think, but that one thing has just nagged at me.

On a totally opposite note, I disembarked the Magic today and there were two issues involving Vibe/ Edge aged kids. While a teen was hanging around the ship, some teens playing an all day game around the ship (Gotcha) with Vibe got overly aggresive and intimidating. Even though the teen was not overly upset, Vibe felt it was worth calling the room for a heads up.

The other issue was involving some boys in which one made a joke with anothers sister. One of the boys was on his way to Edge when the other boy engaged him and they were chasing each other around the ship calling each other names accompanied by their friends . Since all but one of the boys had Oceaneers bands one of the friends tried notifying a YA. She said she could do nothing since it didn't occur in the space and Edge could not do anything either.

cadien · Jul 28, 2017

Maggie'sMom said:
I think a lot of parents struggle with how to balance protecting their children while still teaching them independence and self-reliance. And it's complicated because times have changed. How I was raised would never fly in today's society. When I was little, my mom had a bell and the rule was you had to be close enough to the house to hear the bell, and it was a decent sized bell so the sound carried a ways. When she rang it, it was time to come home. Until then, we'd be running all over the neighborhood. I walked home about 5 blocks from half day kindergarten by myself at age 5. I was babysitting at age 10.

Where I live, it's still like that. I'm grateful.

Maggie'sMom · Jul 28, 2017

cadien said:
Where I live, it's still like that. I'm grateful.

Somehow that's comforting to me that there are still places in this world where that type of childhood is typical. Where I live, and in a lot of the US, a parent would be facing a visit from children's services if they let their kids do these things.

cadien · Jul 28, 2017

Maggie'sMom said:
Somehow that's comforting to me that there are still places in this world where that type of childhood is typical. Where I live, and in a lot of the US, a parent would be facing a visit from children's services if they let their kids do these things.

It was a surprise when we first moved there, because you're right. What has changed is the paranoia. (70s child.) Our house is right across the street from a small playground and kids as young as five regularly play there alone. We're just two blocks from an elementary school so I also see many walking to and from school.

Maggie'sMom · Jul 28, 2017

cadien said:
It was a surprise when we first moved there, because you're right. What has changed is the paranoia. (70s child.) Our house is right across the street from a small playground and kids as young as five regularly play there alone. We're just two blocks from an elementary school so I also see many walking to and from school.

I completely agree. I was a child of the 70s as well. I don't believe the frequency of incidents has changed. It's that we are more aware of them in this age of cable news. A child is in far more danger from people they know than from strangers.

cmph · Jul 28, 2017

Anchors Away 2016 said:
Of course, to get back on topic, this makes it easier to leave them on the ship (or elsewhere) alone if they have cousins with them. Earlier this summer we took our teen-aged sons to Six Flags with two of their teen-aged cousins and we barely saw the four of them. It was an adjustment for US, but they loved it. And we still saw them plenty before and after the trip to hear all about their adventures.

This is a funny coincidence, but this whole thread got me thinking back to my own middle school years. We would get Six Flags season passes for just the kids (my younger sister, some of my girlfriends). Our parents would drop us off with money for lunch and a quarter to call them when we wanted to be picked up, which was from 30min away. We did this for a number of summers. Funnily enough, my mom was considered overprotective! Not one of the parents involved thought anything of it. And I'm not yet 40yo, so this was early 1990s. Things changed fast, eh?

lklgoodman · Jul 28, 2017

Having computer problems, didn't mean for my above post to be directed towards just one poster.

lklgoodman · Jul 28, 2017

How is leaving kids in a secured program with highly trained cms for a few hours consider having parents who aren't taking care of them. Not sure why saying that got my previous post deleted.

SirDuff · Jul 28, 2017

lklgoodman said:
How is leaving kids in a secured program with highly trained cms for a few hours consider having parents who aren't taking care of them. Not sure why saying that got my previous post deleted.

Sometimes it is what you quoted, not what you wrote.

I know (sadly) that there are some neglectful and abusive parents out there but I'd like to think that most are doing what they think is best for their children (and family). A reasonable discussion about these choices is helpful - sometimes someone raises a point that you hadn't considered, so this thread can be useful.

Question.... kids on the ship while you're in port?

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