Three Things...Gratitude Thread

Having dinner with our friends, B&T. She hired DH into his first job here, so that's how we met them. Their son is one day older than DD, their daughter her best friend. Their family is all on the west coast, mine is 4 hours away, DH's in the midwest. Our kids grew up together, we were each other's 'emergency contacts" while the kids were in school, etc. They are our best friends here, and we have dinner at their house almost weekly. Not sure where we'd be without them.

Annual cousins reunion, although this has been sidetracked since covid. My cousins are all mostly in Massachusetts, with my side of the group in Maine. We used to get together the week after Christmas for a multi-night meet up in Portsmouth, NH. We'd have breakfast and dinner together every day, and spend the days doing "things" in smaller groups. We'd take over the hotel lobby in the evenings with our snackie-things, beverages, stories, and laughter. Sure wish we could manage to get this going again, but age is taking its toll.

Thanksgiving, although not necessarily a traditional family thing. DH and I both teach at UMaine and work with grad students on a daily basis. Thanksgiving isn't really a long-enough break for many to go home for the holiday, and not an option at all for the international students. We open our home and dinner table to anyone who needs support, celebration, and a good meal on the holiday. We've had students stop by for just dessert, or come for the whole day- and I put them to work... never say no to a potato peeler on Thanksgiving day! It's always fun, and even though I never know in advance how many will definitely show up, there is always enough food and laughter to go around!
 
:dogdance: TGIF FRIENDS! :dogdance:

My family is incredibly small - my parents, my in-laws and my DD20. Sadly, my brother and my DD25 chose a different path and left the family. My DH is an only child, so he has no siblings. With such a small family we have no family reunions or parties outside of our little group. Having a tiny family has its advantages and disadvantages. Just when I start thinking how I wish I had a larger family, a patient comes into the office venting about their large family, especially after someone passes away. Then I think how grateful I am for my tiny family - no drama.


#1 - Holidays - they’re all spent at my house. Every holiday with our parents still with us is a gift.

#2 - Birthdays - We always celebrate each others birthdays which is fun. The biggest celebrations were always for my girls.

#3 - New Years Eve (with neighbors) - our neighbors have hosted NYE for the last 15 years. We didn’t go during COVID (they still had it) since I’m immunocompromised and we really missed it. We always have fun that night.
 
Dad and I celebrating his birthday together with God recently, by His Grace, meant so much to me.

Memory of my first Christmas Eve midnight mass type service. Attending one had been a lifelong dream. In 2016, God also blessed me by having me sing in His choir at the church during this extra special worship service.

Vague but present memory of spending a quiet Thanksgiving years agonwith my beloved grandma in the small town we both called home.

Gift of each day is to me cause for thanks.
 
My family is horribly dysfunctional no get togethers no one speaking to anyone else extended family does not live anywhere close but the dysfunction does cross states and includes them and they will include friends if you dumb enough to bring any around Ive never been to a family reunion of my family or my ex husband as people didn’t get along nor could you get them to get along I don’t know any cousins most I’ve never met as I’ve never met the Aunts & Uncles.
Holidays were NEVER a fun time and were always immediate family but since mental illness ran in my immediate family holidays were not joyful
I’m not telling this for sympathy it’s more educational as people with mental illness struggle with holidays and this massively impacts the people around them and I don’t think people realize how huge this is I think it’s more so now than it used to be like back when I was a kid
The only problem of it is is that when you’re exposed to this is a child it causes lifelong problems counseling can only do so much

I tried very hard to create happy holidays for my family - what was I successful ? I don’t know some years I’m going to say yes and because there was mental illness in my only immediate family a lot of years I’m going to say no - someone was always back in an attitude someone was always causing problems someone was always starting a fight with someone it was never pretty after a while I just gave up
I’m not grateful for any of them don’t mean to sound mean don’t mean to sound ungrateful it’s just the fact that these people no matter what you did for them would not try to use their counseling or any of the other things that were provided to them to not stir up problems and cause trouble I’ll leave it at that
They ran agendas and they weren’t nice ones
I avoid all get togethers especially family but on the same hand I avoid work ones too if I have to do a work event I’m in and out within an hour hour and a half I will not stay Because of what I have been taught I am extremely uncomfortable in these settings and find them very hard to do
It’s from growing up with someone with extreme mental illness as one of your parents - lifelong impact

So no we did not have family gatherings we did not have family reunions we didn’t have vacations we didn’t do any of those things and a few times that anybody came over or visited it did not end pretty it usually ended very ugly because of this I usually avoid these situations like the plague

I’m not sharing this for sympathy or shock value or anything like that I’m just sharing this is more of a learning experience most people don’t know or understand or even comprehend what it’s like to live with somebody with mental illness it is an all encompassing thing and it impacts so much it is so far reaching and it just seep into everything and there’s no planning things because you just never know how it’s going to be from day today people are always very focused on the person with the mental illness and no one thinks about the other person the spouse the parent the person who doesn’t have the mental illness who is their living with them trying to help them or upholding everything else because that person - they are massively impacted but they’re never talked about !
 
As an FYI I don’t want to shy away from answering these questions which in the past I would’ve I would’ve said pass I don’t wanna pass I want to force myself to address these things and answer them I wanna force myself to deal with these things
I don’t want everybody thinking that my life’s all doom and gloom my life is not all doom and gloom
I have some amazing friends and I make more friends all the time and I cherish and value my friends
My friends are constantly bugging me to come to their house for holidays and things like that it’s my choice not to do it because I’m not comfortable with that they get mad at me about that by the way
I’ve taken a lot of vacations did I have a nice times yes was every single one of those vacations ruined by a certain family member yes everybody know about it no because you don’t talk about those things but I can guarantee you I have not had one single vacation that I was not crying within the first day because of said family member I’ve not had one single vacation where people were not fighting in public most of the time because again same family member they got to the point that that family member was not invited on vacation because if you want to just ruin everybody’s good time then you’re not going to be there to ruin it lucky for me I had two family members that were doing that both of them got eliminated but by then the damage it already been done
I just don’t want people thinking it’s all doom and gloom it’s not all doom and gloom I don’t want sympathy I’m just trying to spread awareness and understanding
People don’t talk about it people hide it people shy away from it and it doesn’t help it needs to be talked about!
 
I am somewhat of an introvert so social gatherings are not always enjoyable for me. However, I am grateful for them because there are small moments within them that I cherish.
1. One of my friends from the school I worked in initiated a social gathering which I was hesitant to attend and now look forward to every month! It’s a group of retirees from the same elementary school and we have lunch together once a month. It is a small group, and I am grateful for the very real and honest conversations that we have. I can’t stand small talk. :)
2. Very grateful for the memories of Thanksgivings spent with my husband’s family. They are Jewish so we would combine Chanukah and Thanksgiving (Thanksgivicah) and despite some tensions over the years, we all miss those happy times.
3. I’m very grateful for the online communities that I have been a part of, dating back to an XFiles group in the 90’s! I have one friend from that group who I have met in person a few times on drives down to WDW. (She lives in SC) There are a few Disney groups also :)
 
Yeah not a big fan of large gatherings I mean I’ve gotten to the point I don’t even like going to concerts I did force myself to go to my favorite band But for some strange reason going to Disney doesn’t bother me a bit someone explain that one but on the other hand I do not like being on a full cruise ship
With that being said I’m not afraid to speak to people that I don’t know I’m a strange duck 🦆🤣🤣🤣 I will often strike up a conversation with somebody by me while I’m sitting waiting for people im with to go ride something I can’t ride and I’ve been at Disney when it’s full to capacity I don’t like to be in the mob and will usually find my way out of it but I’m not overly uncomfortable or I have to leave the parks
But if I’m at home I would never do anything like that kind of crazy I can tolerate it at DISNEY but no place else
 
Sunday dinners when DS was little - MIL used to have everyone over and we'd play games or spend time outside with the kids it was so nice!

My aunt's family reunions - I connected with a cousin of my dad's at one, and we found out we have so much in common and stayed in touch. :goodvibes

My mom's family Christmas parties when I was a kid - We used to draw names for a Secret Santa with a $5.00 limit. It was tricky, but we'd draw quite early so there was plenty of time, and the hunt was always fun and creative!
 
Family/Friends get-togethers

Childhood Christmas (late!)mornings spent with certain family friends: Drinks, snacks, lots of laughter. Just a nice tradition.

Again, growing up, family vacations: In the UK or abroad, but, especially, to WDW and DL!!!

The friends - more like family - with whom we always spent NYE. ...Also, various weekends and vacations. I'm grateful for all the picnics, cricket matches, circus/movie/theater trips, raucous games etc. etc..
 
Today's Topic (Fri, 2/23) - 3 family get-togethers you're grateful for

Because we are DVC, I have planned many gatherings at WDW. My most memorable was for DMom’s 85th birthday. One DS wasn’t there, DDiL was having her second baby, but other DS came from Venezuela where he was working. I have the picture on our mantle. This was 2003. Many good friends rounded out the guest list.
IMG_2478.jpeg
Every Thanksgiving/Christmas that we have hosted Coast Guard Recruits. Sometimes our whole family could be there, and for many years mom was with us! Here we were in 2010! I took the picture.
1708716355644.jpeg

Mom and Dad were married 50 years, and the 50th wedding anniversary party had the majority of my first cousins with their SO. Yes, I have that picture too! Sadly my dad passed the next year, in 1993. These are good representations of the family gatherings that have meant the most to me. When Tom and I celebrated our 50th, we were a fractured family….we are healed now. Tom’s 80th is this year, we hope and pray that everyone can be together later this year. Right now Tom is in hospital where they are caring for his heart.

IMG_5350.jpeg
 
Christmas at my paternal grandparents- I grew up in a household with a father who was raised Christian and a mother who is Jewish. As people, we all got along and I think religious differences just brought my parents closer together. That being said, my maternal grandparents would have had a fit if anything Christmasy happened in our house. So every year, we’d drive to my paternal grandparents’ home on Christmas Eve. My grandfather and uncle would be putting their finishing touches on the train platform for the tree when we arrived. We’d then go out to buy a fresh tree, set it up and decorate as a family. The house was always filled with the aroma of freshly baked pies and there were tons everywhere of all kinds of homemade cookies. In the evening, we usually had a dinner of something easy like fried chicken or pizza. We’d then take turns in my grandparents’ bedroom helping wrap gifts. By morning, Santa had come, ham and sides were being prepared, a wide array of family would pop in for holiday wishes and we’d all be snacking on candies…some of which were handmade by my grandmother. If there was snow, we’d even grab the sleds to go down the hill on the side of the house.

The Jewish High Holy Days during our Hillel years- Before I approached the Bat Mitzvah prep years, anywhere from 10-25 members of my mom’s side of the family would meet up at the Rutgers Hillel for the High Holy days. Services are long, but it was amazing to be surrounded by all of this family following generations of traditions. We’d often reconvene at my grandparents house for a rest before heading somewhere fancy for a nice big family holiday meal (or break-fast if it was Yom Kippur).

Our Little Holiday Gatherings on the Road- Since my parents usually visit just before or after holidays and DH’s family doesn’t have the most pleasant holiday gatherings, we’ve spent Christmas several times as just the four of us in vacation spots. I think my favorite was the Vegas/Grand Canyon year. On Christmas Eve, we visited Death Valley NP before having a nice Christmas Eve dinner at Paris, overlooking the Bellagio fountains. On Christmas morning, the kids opened gifts (trip based experiences), we then drove to the Grand Canyon on Christmas Day, watched the sunset over the canyon from our room with a view of the south rim, and then had a really nice family Christmas dinner at the El Tovar dining room. It’s the only time any of us have gotten decked out in fancy sparkly attire while in a national park. Instead of day after Christmas shopping sales, we watched the sunrise over the Grand Canyon, walked the trails a bit, and attended a Hopi based art presentation before heading back to Vegas for their gifts (fountain view room, Hells Kitchen dinner, Cirque show). Completely non-traditional, but it was the gift of experiences with just the four of us celebrating the holiday together.
 
WDWEPCOT said:
My family is horribly dysfunctional no get togethers no one speaking to anyone else extended family does not live anywhere close but the dysfunction does cross states and includes them and they will include friends if you dumb enough to bring any around Ive never been to a family reunion of my family or my ex husband as people didn’t get along nor could you get them to get along I don’t know any cousins most I’ve never met as I’ve never met the Aunts & Uncles.
Holidays were NEVER a fun time and were always immediate family but since mental illness ran in my immediate family holidays were not joyful
I’m not telling this for sympathy it’s more educational as people with mental illness struggle with holidays and this massively impacts the people around them and I don’t think people realize how huge this is I think it’s more so now than it used to be like back when I was a kid
The only problem of it is is that when you’re exposed to this is a child it causes lifelong problems counseling can only do so much

I tried very hard to create happy holidays for my family - what was I successful ? I don’t know some years I’m going to say yes and because there was mental illness in my only immediate family a lot of years I’m going to say no - someone was always back in an attitude someone was always causing problems someone was always starting a fight with someone it was never pretty after a while I just gave up
I’m not grateful for any of them don’t mean to sound mean don’t mean to sound ungrateful it’s just the fact that these people no matter what you did for them would not try to use their counseling or any of the other things that were provided to them to not stir up problems and cause trouble I’ll leave it at that
They ran agendas and they weren’t nice ones
I avoid all get togethers especially family but on the same hand I avoid work ones too if I have to do a work event I’m in and out within an hour hour and a half I will not stay Because of what I have been taught I am extremely uncomfortable in these settings and find them very hard to do
It’s from growing up with someone with extreme mental illness as one of your parents - lifelong impact

So no we did not have family gatherings we did not have family reunions we didn’t have vacations we didn’t do any of those things and a few times that anybody came over or visited it did not end pretty it usually ended very ugly because of this I usually avoid these situations like the plague

I’m not sharing this for sympathy or shock value or anything like that I’m just sharing this is more of a learning experience most people don’t know or understand or even comprehend what it’s like to live with somebody with mental illness it is an all encompassing thing and it impacts so much it is so far reaching and it just seep into everything and there’s no planning things because you just never know how it’s going to be from day today people are always very focused on the person with the mental illness and no one thinks about the other person the spouse the parent the person who doesn’t have the mental illness who is their living with them trying to help them or upholding everything else because that person - they are massively impacted but they’re never talked about !
Click to expand...
I am so sorry to hear of your struggles and don't think for a minute that we feel you are sharing this for sympathy. No way, no how. This is a safe space to share whatever, unconditional. This is what I truly appreciate about this group.
 
Thank you I wasn’t sure if I didn’t feel that way because I don’t share this with too many people most people just don’t understand
I do hope your daughters are doing well I think about them every time I see your name!
You really should give us updates ! Not trying to make you feel bad just letting you know that we all care and we’re all just generally concerned!
 
WDWEPCOT said:
Thank you I wasn’t sure if I didn’t feel that way because I don’t share this with too many people most people just don’t understand
I do hope your daughters are doing well I think about them every time I see your name!
You really should give us updates ! Not trying to make you feel bad just letting you know that we all care and we’re all just generally concerned!
Click to expand...
This group understands and really who cares what others think. You have great supportive ppl here!

Thank you and the rest of you for thinking about my kiddos!
DD21 is starting a new job with a Retinal Doctor in a week and is doing great.
DS18 is still enjoying his job at a golf course. Plans to work there thru the summer and then get into the trades.
DD24, I almost posted something recently but waiting for more test results. Could be something or nothing.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Share this page


GET A DISNEY VACATION QUOTE

Dreams Unlimited Travel is committed to providing you with the very best vacation planning experience possible. Our Vacation Planners are experts and will share their honest advice to help you have a magical vacation.

Let us help you with your next Disney Vacation!


New DISboards Threads

g3pak
Animal Kingdom hours this summer?
Replies
1
Views
2
scrappinginontario
scrappinginontario
alohamom
Kilauea (Big Island) erupting 24/06/03
Replies
0
Views
1
alohamom
alohamom
mom2mickeyfan
DAS with MNSSHP
Replies
5
Views
6
AnnaKristoff2013
A
robinb
Cicadas
Replies
0
Views
12
robinb
robinb
G
Two bedroom stay- advice
Replies
8
Views
12
gopherit
gopherit
crazy4wdw
Fairfax Fare at Hollywood Studios now serving breakfast
Replies
1
Views
31
Shughart
Shughart
NEWS & UPDATES



Latest posts







facebook twitter
Top