Im with both of you. I have been invited to 2 destination weddings, one was my sister and one was my friend. My sisters one was non negotiable, I was bridesmaid, lol, and it wasnt that far away. I live in Ireland and my sister got married in England. She invited friends and family from various parts of Ireland and other than the actual wedding and transport from the Church to the reception, everyone paid their own way. About 30 people travelled from Ireland, everyone arranged and paid for their own flights and hotels and transfers from the airport. My sister had put together a list of various hotels in the area but thats all she did.
My English friend got married in Ghana, Africa. Her husband is from there, and they knew that her family and friends would travel to Ghana but her her husbands family would not be able to travel to England. I didnt go, as it was outside my budget, but my friend kinda knew that. I was invited, more to let me know the details and to share her big news than as an expectation that I would go. Again, if I had made it to Ghana, my friend would have helped me with information about flights, hotels etc but I would have been expected to pay my own way.