Did your son or daughter go on a "grand adventure" after high school?

[crazymama]

So my DD17 graduates this spring. Her post secondary Plan A didn't pan out as she wasn't accepted into the program she so desperately wanted (odds were slim... 450 applicants and 45 accepted). Her Plan B is to attend a local university in a general arts/sciences program with no real direction as of yet. That is fine and I honestly believe that no education is a waste but I wonder if taking a gap year to work and do something different and exciting might not be a bad idea. I am not afraid of her never going back to school because she is driven to do so but she's still young. Did your kids do anything different or adventurous before heading to uni or college?

 

[Kitty 34]

Two of my sons just went on to college; my third one did some odd jobs and two years later joined the Air Force. So no big adventure "vacations" if that's what you are insinuating.

 

[MrsDuck]

So my DD17 graduates this spring. Her post secondary Plan A didn't pan out as she wasn't accepted into the program she so desperately wanted (odds were slim... 450 applicants and 45 accepted). Her Plan B is to attend a local university in a general arts/sciences program with no real direction as of yet. That is fine and I honestly believe that no education is a waste but I wonder if taking a gap year to work and do something different and exciting might not be a bad idea. I am not afraid of her never going back to school because she is driven to do so but she's still young. Did your kids do anything different or adventurous before heading to uni or college?

I didn't. I had a plan and wanted to get started with college ASAP. I don't regret it but taking a year off to do something fun would've been nice. One of my student's is taking a gap year to travel, another is going on a mission, and yet another is going to be a yoga instructor in Costa Rica. Most of my students are affluent so they will be supported by parents during this gap year - which is great if mom and dad can swing it.

I'd say discuss your thoughts with DD and see what she has in mind, too! Hope she has a good rest of her senior year!

 

[mom2rtk]

No gap years here. I've seen too many kids get distracted after high school around here (kids' friends).

 

[Skippy918]

A few of my friends kids who weren't sure about their college goals ended up taking classes at community college and working part time.

 

[morgan98]

So my DD17 graduates this spring. Her post secondary Plan A didn't pan out as she wasn't accepted into the program she so desperately wanted (odds were slim... 450 applicants and 45 accepted). Her Plan B is to attend a local university in a general arts/sciences program with no real direction as of yet. That is fine and I honestly believe that no education is a waste but I wonder if taking a gap year to work and do something different and exciting might not be a bad idea. I am not afraid of her never going back to school because she is driven to do so but she's still young. Did your kids do anything different or adventurous before heading to uni or college?

When you say "do something different and exciting" do you mean a gap year spent traveling abroad? Are you funding this year? I mean if you are going to pay associated expenses that may broaden her opportunities some. However, I would venture to say it would be hard to find something too exciting if it involved continuing to live at home and finding some sort of job to pay expenses.

In retrospect, I wish I had taken a year and gone to spend a part of it in my mother's hometown in Italy with family. We traveled there when I was young and my husband and I still visit. It would have allowed me to continue to deepen my language skills and been an interesting way to spend some time.

 

[Pacolovestacos]

No but I'd recommend it. I went straight to college, then to work, didn't really give myself anytime to explore. Now I'm in my mid 30s and am pretty much traveling non-stop for fun. Definitely wish I had done more of it when I was in my 20s.

 

[disykat]

One of my kids spent the summer before college traveling with a Drum Corp, but that was it. Honestly? My reason for not encouraging anything like a gap year wasn't about the kids at all. It was about me. We told the kids that all parental funding expired 4 years after high school graduation. Since we were willing to fund most of their college if they did it within that time frame and we wouldn't have funded the gap year, it was really in their best interest just to power through. Had they had an overwhelming desire to do something else, I'm sure they would have found a way.

Our youngest graduates from college this June and DH and I would like to do some more traveling!

 

[kimblebee]

My daughter graduates next year ( how is that possible) and is talking about taking a year off to work and maybe travel a bit too.

 

[meggiebeth]

I really think it depends if the university is competitive and will aid her in getting a job, as so many in the U.K. don't carry much weight anymore (I am guessing that is where you are from? We are in Essex.) I've been told that taking a meaningful gap year can actually aid getting accepted into a uni, so it really depends on what she'd want to do. If she chooses a course at university, I would really make sure it's something she wants to do and that she can take further if she wants to.

 

[ols386]

I wouldn't be funding a gap for my kids to travel for a year. Although my daughter did delay starting college by one semester, but she was working during that semester. I don't see what benefits there would be for my 18 year to go traveling around the world or country.

 

[crazymama]

When you say "do something different and exciting" do you mean a gap year spent traveling abroad? Are you funding this year? I mean if you are going to pay associated expenses that may broaden her opportunities some. However, I would venture to say it would be hard to find something too exciting if it involved continuing to live at home and finding some sort of job to pay expenses.

In retrospect, I wish I had taken a year and gone to spend a part of it in my mother's hometown in Italy with family. We traveled there when I was young and my husband and I still visit. It would have allowed me to continue to deepen my language skills and been an interesting way to spend some time.

Well she would have to work a bit before travelling. We could help a bit but would want her to take some ownership in financing things. That idea of time in Italy sounds like it would have been wonderful! She speaks fairly fluent French from a French immersion based education and would love to perhaps au paire in France or something ??

 

[crazymama]

I really think it depends if the university is competitive and will aid her in getting a job, as so many in the U.K. don't carry much weight anymore (I am guessing that is where you are from? We are in Essex.) I've been told that taking a meaningful gap year can actually aid getting accepted into a uni, so it really depends on what she'd want to do. If she chooses a course at university, I would really make sure it's something she wants to do and that she can take further if she wants to.

I am actually Canadian but I am travelling to the UK this summer! I love England!!!! I would love her to study over there but the international fees are obviously prohibitive.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

You might get more of the type of responses you want if you edit the title to include the term "gap year", as it sounds like that's what you're really talking about.

But to answer - no, both of mine went straight on to college. My DS was playing a sport and really couldn't take a year off from it (not that he would've wanted to anyway) and my DD just wanted to get on with her studies. I think both regret not taking more summer courses over the past couple of summers which might have lightened their loads during the school year. They worked, but it would've been do-able.

 

[luvsJack]

Dd didn't take a gap year after high school but she will take one (at least one) between community college and university. She has one more year to her AA degree and she was going on to her BS but plans have changed

She plans to begin working on her certifications to be a personal trainer this summer and hope to be working in a gym soon after. Between that and following her dream to be a professional wrestler, we will see where it all leads.

She still has goals, they just don't require a degree. So we will see what happens. After a year of both, she may decide she needs that BS degree or she may love what she does.

Some kids can take a gap year after high school and then go back to school and be fine. Some end up never going to school. I think it depends on the person. As long as they have a plan in mind and goals set for what they want to accomplish, most will be fine.

 

[Jupiter&Wolfe]

If I may speak as a 24 yr old with no kids but had to make that decision myself several years ago... Taking the time to discover myself and my own passions was one of the smartest moves I ever made. Now, I am not an unmotivated person and I had a job through high school(so I could pay for my own gap year), but I still highly recommend it. I think high school has become extremely demanding and makes it difficult to think on your OWN terms about your life goals. I ended up working for an animal rescue and traveling around the country picking up animals from kill shelters. It was an extremely rewarding experience.

After that, I took some classes, realized I still want sure of my direction, took MORE time off and road tripped around the country and WWOOFed(world wide opportunities on organic farms). Now I am back in school, I am much more focused, and since im older im not distracted by parties, binge drinking, experimenting with....well you know how it is in college!

Like I said, I have had as many as 3 jobs at once to pay my own way, but if your kid is willing to work hard and wants to explore the world, I think that is just as good, if not a better education than you would get from college.

Best of luck!

 

[mamacatnv]

Oh man, what a timely thread!

My DD graduates from high school in June and the past 8 months have been consumed with the college process. After all, her brother went right to college, then on to grad school and is now working in the field he always wanted. We had the same expectations for DD, however, DD is not her brother and she needs to find her own way. It took me awhile to come to this conclusion.

When it came down to the wire, 3 days ago, DD had only applied to schools that we really could not afford.
Believe me, she "knew" the budget, she "knew" what we were willing to do etc. etc. etc. but she did not listen.

This all came to a head the other night. I was stressed beyond stressed as we were facing either DD not going to school in the fall or all of us taking on a tremendous amount of debt which we had sworn up and down we would not do nor would we allow her to do via co-signing etc. We sat DD down and told her that we could not/would not make her choices happen.
So now what? Tears, two days of not going to school and hiding at BFF's house etc. I let her lick her wounds and then I tackled what I finally understood to be the real issue which DD confirmed.

She is not ready to head off to college, by only choosing unreachable schools (financially) she put herself into a position of not being able to go. By choosing a University in New York City, it gave her access to the city where she would like to intern/shadow a chef. She viewed college as a means to her adventure not wanting to consider the costs. She has absolutely no idea what she wants to do. She thinks she might like to be a baker, a lawyer, a politician or maybe an advocate of some sort - she is clueless and the idea of having to pick a path had her running for the hills, making lots of bad decisions etc.

Once we all realized this (sometimes us parents can be a bit slow) we took a deep breath and listened to what DD wanted.
She is going to take a Gap year, she wants to shadow/intern a chef as she really thinks culinary is in her future AND she is going to go off and travel a bit via WWOOF (World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms). I honestly had no idea she wanted to do this but I guess in retrospect, we have been so college focused that we didn't hear or see this. Fortunately we have connections in a few major cities to help aid in housing while she pursues an internship in culinary and we have a very close family friend who is very high up in the industry who can help her in this endeavor. We bought her a membership for WWOOF Hawaii and she is planning a few months in the islands on various farms.

We are not funding this like a grand tour of Europe nor are we funding this much in general. She has an 8 week residential job already lined up for the summer, that along with her savings will fund airfare and spending money to Hawaii - WWOOF farms will provide some sort of housing and some/all meals. She is planning 3-4 months in Hawaii at various farms. Her Grandfather thinks this is a wonderful idea and has offered up $100 a month deposited to her bank account for "pocket money".
Then she will return home where she will work for a few months, save her money and then set off on some sort of culinary adventure. She will work/travel over the next year.

We are going to revisit college applications in the fall for the fall of 2018 with a completely different mindset.
We maintain that no matter what she does, we will not support a decision that will leave her with major debt at such a young age.

Surprisingly to me, once we realized what was really going on and what we needed to do, the fog lifted, the stress was gone and I am totally ok with this path for DD.
The whole house slept much better last night.

 

[mamacatnv]

If I may speak as a 24 yr old with no kids but had to make that decision myself several years ago... Taking the time to discover myself and my own passions was one of the smartest moves I ever made. Now, I am not an unmotivated person and I had a job through high school(so I could pay for my own gap year), but I still highly recommend it. I think high school has become extremely demanding and makes it difficult to think on your OWN terms about your life goals. I ended up working for an animal rescue and traveling around the country picking up animals from kill shelters. It was an extremely rewarding experience.

After that, I took some classes, realized I still want sure of my direction, took MORE time off and road tripped around the country and WWOOFed(world wide opportunities on organic farms). Now I am back in school, I am much more focused, and since im older im not distracted by parties, binge drinking, experimenting with....well you know how it is in college!

Like I said, I have had as many as 3 jobs at once to pay my own way, but if your kid is willing to work hard and wants to explore the world, I think that is just as good, if not a better education than you would get from college.

Best of luck!

I loved reading your story of success!
Until last night, I had never heard of WWOOF, (see my post below yours) My DD brought this to my attention and I bought her a Hawaii Membership.
Would you mind sharing your experiences and where you went with WWOOF with me via PM?

 

[jt'smom]

Nope, my kid graduated, worked his butt off all summer, and left for college 3 months later. We did pop up to Disney on a 5 day trip to get his last use for the year on his AP, but other than that his grand adventure was working at the local yacht club bussing tables, running food and basically being abused by filthy, rich people who pulled up on their pretty yachts. I did have a friend whose son went on a biking tour in Vietnam, that they funded, and 4 years later, he's still there, living in poverty, working as a bartender to support himself. He's into the whole culture thing, and is extremely happy apparently and they fly him home once a year so they can see him, but other than that, he loves his life over there. Which was a complete shock given he comes from a wealthy Southern family, and was expected to go to college and then assume his place in the family business.

 

[mefordis]

So my DD17 graduates this spring. Her post secondary Plan A didn't pan out as she wasn't accepted into the program she so desperately wanted (odds were slim... 450 applicants and 45 accepted). Her Plan B is to attend a local university in a general arts/sciences program with no real direction as of yet. That is fine and I honestly believe that no education is a waste but I wonder if taking a gap year to work and do something different and exciting might not be a bad idea. I am not afraid of her never going back to school because she is driven to do so but she's still young. Did your kids do anything different or adventurous before heading to uni or college?

I did this, but took time off between sophomore and junior year. I taught 6th grade in Latin America. However, I was self supporting 100% from age 18 on so I worked hard and paid for it all myself. I went back to University and graduated after two years. I am very glad I took that time while I was young. No gap in the resume, just a bit later to graduate college and I had a lot of stories to tell and became fluent in Spanish.