Child-free, but not by choice?

Hello Everyone!!!

I hope you are all doing well!!!! I'm just passing time til my next WDW trip in May! LOL!!

I do have some wonderul news to report! My cousin has 4 children, and she and her DH have decided that their family is complete. Well, she has offerred to be a gestional surrogate for me!!!! My heart is so full that she would even offer something so generous!!!! I get so choked up every time I even think about it! Needless to say, we will be taking her up on her offer this summer! I just can't beleive it! Of course it isn't a sure thing that it will work, but it's the best shot we have!!!! I just had to share my good news!!

Hematite -- How are you?? Are you in mid-cycle right now??? I hope everything is going well!! Yes, we went to the adoption meetings, got all the information, and then got a good old fashioned case of cold feet! LOL!! The agency that I really loved was $30K, and I had to put $21K up front, and then wait for 18month-2years to get matched. I just couldn't do it. So fingers are crossed that the surrogate option works out for us!

Suzanne -- How are you feeling? Is the medication helping the reflux/chest pains?? I hope you are doing well!!!

Leger -- Woo Hoo on getting to see the RE!!!! This is such a big step in the right direction!!! Do you have an appt scheduled yet??? Best of luck to you!!!!!!!

Kimysbug -- Babsy showers do it for me too! It's not so much the opening of the presents, but there's something about a baby shower that every woman in the room wants to start talking about their labor and delivery stories. I send a gift (with my regrets) too!!

Belle -- Thank you for sharing your positive story, and congrats on your children!!

BigDaddy -- Welcome to the Dis!!!!! Have a wonderful trip, such a great surprise!!


OH!! Nennie, that would be wonderful of them to do that for you. I wish I knew someone that would do that for me. That will probably be our only chance.

Mom and I were supposed to go to WDW in May with a friend of mine from work, but mom decided she wasn't going because she has no money, and my friend needs her PTO to go to a family reunion, so we are going to go another time. I took the deposit I had paid and booked 2 nights at Pop (for the amount of the deposit on the other room, I got 2 nights at Pop), so we are going for my 35th birthday. I will have my tax refund by then, so I will pay for the food and gas and we have AP's, and besides I want to go again before December, I can't wait that long, I NEED my Disney fix. I might take my 10 year old 2nd cousin (the one I took in June 2005)


We are going on 7 years of trying and nothing, well, I say trying, but I gave that up last year. I no longer even have any hope anymore. Especially now since we have my 17 year old cousin living with us. We don't even have room to move our stuff in from our old house, much less a baby.

I am better most days. The reflux meds weren't working well last week, but seem to be better the last couple of days. Thank you for asking. I almost cut off part of my right thumb last weekend, but that is on the mend as well. I get my stitches out on Feb 13. I am no,longer allowed to use the utility knife :rotfl: I am almost scared to use a kitchen knife now :laughing:

I can't do baby showers or pregnant co-workers. Luckily mine had that fixed over the Christmas holiday. You remember the one that was such a witch to me while she was preggers with her 2 in 18 months, sick woman, now she doesn't even want to take care of them, she fusses when her hubby goes out of town for his job, she better be glad she is so lucky.

I did scrape up enough courage to give my best friend the best baby shower I could. I really went over the top. That little buggar is 15 months old now and I just love her to death. I would do it again for her in a heartbeat. I love my BFF and she was really supportive through all I had been through and very concerned about my feelings when she found out she was pregnant, that this was the least I could do for her, and she shares her children with me, so I feel so special.

My 17 year old cousins boyfriend's 18 year old sister is pregnant and that is hard to deal with, she is so immature about it. I would just like to knock her upside the head :headache: She is so clueless:eek:

I have a 28 year old cousin that just had a baby in December and he has been diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis. The stupid doctor told her that it was from the maternal side of the family. CF has to come from both parents, why would a doctor tell her that? I hope she has sense enough to get a second opinion, but probably not. She didn't have sense enough not to get knocked up a second time in less than a year after her first with her uneducated, unemployed 20 year old shot gun wedded husband. Hopefully they (her mom, dad, and 2 brothers and hubby's family) will all get tested and let us know, so if God forbid I do ever get pregnant, I can get it checked, well I will bring it up to my GYN next month anyway. She is the daughter of the sister my mom has nothing to do with.

Leger-I am so happy for you, and again I believe things will work out well for you. I had a feeling in my heart it wasn't going to work out for me when I went and I sort of knew in my heart that I would never be a mother, but now I am realizing the truth, even though I wanted that for my life.

Hematite- Yeah, How are you doing?

Has anybody heard from RDogWalt?
 
Hi Everyone:

I haven't visited this thread in a while. It's been 7 years for me TTC. I totally understand about the babyshower and just being around pregnant people in general. I have a colleague that did IVF her first one and is preg. I went to lunch with her and 4 other people and either they or their wives were pregnant. I was miserable.:headache: I was sooo trying to avoid the baby topic, just felt like crawling under the table.:sad2:
 
First kiddo was IUI on Repronex. Next on Glucophage. Third we're still trying to figure out. THanks for the info on the Romantic stuff. I'd better get to work on that as May will roll around soon enough.pirate:

ahh cool. :thumbsup2 thrid one trying to figure out? haha! thats funny. Guess it was just meant to be. yeah, may will be here before you know it! Hope your trip turns out GREAT! :thumbsup2

Hi Everyone:

I haven't visited this thread in a while. It's been 7 years for me TTC. I totally understand about the babyshower and just being around pregnant people in general. I have a colleague that did IVF her first one and is preg. I went to lunch with her and 4 other people and either they or their wives were pregnant. I was miserable.:headache: I was sooo trying to avoid the baby topic, just felt like crawling under the table.:sad2:

oh man. 7 years! That sucks!
And being at lunch with several pregnant people at once? One is hard, let alone 3 or 4! I feel you girl. :hug: It's so hard to not have to talk aobut that crap when everyone seems to be pregnant anymore. I'm SO ready to not be in the baby making stage of life anymore.
 
Hi guys. I just checked in over here (and read a whole lot of posts) and wanted to give you all an update...

Nennie- I'm so glad to hear that you've got a surrogate lined up! How exciting!

Suzanne- Sorry about the acid reflux and the issues with the knife! You've had quite a few trips to Disney lately- how awesome!!

Aclov- I know how hard it is to be around pregnant people. And people totally go crazy around pregnant people I've found- always talking about the pregnancy, etc.! I'm constantly feeling bad when I'm around people who are trying. I definitely remember how I felt.

Leger- I'm glad that you've got an appointment with your RE coming up.

Hematite- I hope your cycle is going well so far. I'm keeping tabs on you on the other site as well! Wishing you the best.

Well, today I'm 36 weeks, 3 days. The twins should be here any day, but no signs of labor yet. Based on positioning, I'm going to have to have a c-section---which is scheduled for Valentine's Day:love: ---if they don't come before.

We did get in a trip to Disney for Super Soap Weekend in November. We were out of DVC points so we stayed at CBR. We had fun at the parks and it was a nice, but brief, trip to the parks.

We had a trip planned for New Year's to SSR which the doctor said I couldn't go on! Bummer. DP went anyway and took my aunt and my 2 1/2 year old cousin who had a blast.

Looks like we won't be going again until at least 2009! I don't know how I'll make it more than a year without a Disney fix!!

Wishing you all the best! :wizard:
 
Hi guys. I just checked in over here (and read a whole lot of posts) and wanted to give you all an update...

Nennie- I'm so glad to hear that you've got a surrogate lined up! How exciting!

Suzanne- Sorry about the acid reflux and the issues with the knife! You've had quite a few trips to Disney lately- how awesome!!

Aclov- I know how hard it is to be around pregnant people. And people totally go crazy around pregnant people I've found- always talking about the pregnancy, etc.! I'm constantly feeling bad when I'm around people who are trying. I definitely remember how I felt.

Leger- I'm glad that you've got an appointment with your RE coming up.

Hematite- I hope your cycle is going well so far. I'm keeping tabs on you on the other site as well! Wishing you the best.

Well, today I'm 36 weeks, 3 days. The twins should be here any day, but no signs of labor yet. Based on positioning, I'm going to have to have a c-section---which is scheduled for Valentine's Day:love: ---if they don't come before.

We did get in a trip to Disney for Super Soap Weekend in November. We were out of DVC points so we stayed at CBR. We had fun at the parks and it was a nice, but brief, trip to the parks.

We had a trip planned for New Year's to SSR which the doctor said I couldn't go on! Bummer. DP went anyway and took my aunt and my 2 1/2 year old cousin who had a blast.

Looks like we won't be going again until at least 2009! I don't know how I'll make it more than a year without a Disney fix!!

Wishing you all the best! :wizard:

Well, it's about time you checked in here. I have thought about you alot and wondered how you were doing.

Do you know what the babies are or is that going to be a surprise? What a wonderful Valentne's Day present, sure beats flowers and candy :love:

Disney sorta keeps my mind off my other problems. I call it my happy place, cause it does make me happy. I guess it is something I can control in my life and having a baby isn't, and it does keep my mind busy and off not having a baby.

Keep us posted.

Suzanne
 
Hello everyone--sorry to be so absent. We got back last week from wdw. As always, it was a mostly fun trip, but, there was some rough stuff near the end that I'm having trouble letting go of--plus, the many stories of lost luggage (2 of our bags misplaced by ME, 1 bag of family members delivered to the wrong room by ME, 2 bags of family members misplaced by ME, 3 bags of family members that ME 'forgot' to pick up from the airline, 1 bag of ours lost by the airline during the trip home).

Thank you all for noticing my absence. Yes, I've started an IVF cycle. I'm currently on the "shutting down" stage of the cycle and I go in for bloodwork 2/15 to see if that's been successful. If so, then, I'll start puregon that evening.

Nennie--That's fabulous! I'm all choked up too; it's great to know that there are such generous people out there.

Leger13--I'm glad to hear you got the referral, keep us posted.

Suzanne--Wow! It seems like there's always something new (and big) going on in your life. Thanks for keeping us all in the loop.

Others--sorry, to give you a group response, but, thank you for sharing your stories.

Pregnancies, Showers, etc.--I've found that my reactions to these situations are quite varied and not exactly predictable. I have mostly found that I am happy for other people when they get pregnant. I really cannot wish this struggle on anyone. But, I have become very critical of people who do things like drink or smoke while pregnant or TTC--according to research drinking or smoking 4 months before providing the sperm that fertilizes an egg can affect that child for life! Why take that risk, when it's so easy to avoid? I have been genuinely happy for my friends that have gotten pregnant during the past 4 years and I found it difficult when one friend didn't talk to me about her pregnancy because she was afraid I'd get upset. But, earlier today I was invited to a baby shower for someone that I've only met once and I found that incredibly difficult. And, a couple of weeks ago, my Principal said something about "all those pregnancies in the department...must be something in the air" and I was so hurt that I wasn't part of it.

Adoption Costs--About a month ago, I was thinking about all of the things we've had to spend money on while TTC in comparison to adoption costs. People often talk about adoption costs as being prohibitive and it certainly looks that way up-front. So, I did a little exercise. I added up everything we have spent on TTC over the last 4 years. Just with the stuff I can recall off the top of my head (I can already tell you that I missed counting ovulation kits and poas pregnancy tests) I got to over $20k. And I live in Canada, where most of the expensive stuff (daily bloodwork, ultrasounds, etc.) is covered by provincial insurance. Since you get to claim adoption costs for tax credits, adoption now seems cheaper than it used to--it's just a matter of gathering the money at a single time, but, you could always gather it a little at a time for 3-4 years and then proceed, or, use a line of credit to pay it over the coming 3-4 years.
 
Hey everybody, How are you all doing?

Finally got my stitches out of my thumb. No more knives for me :lmao:

Hoping you are all doing well.

R Dog Walt, are those babies here yet? We want a report :cloud9:

Suzanne
 
Sneaks in quietly.. takes all knives out of Suzannes reach.. shakes finger at her.. hehehehe hope you're doing well girl!
 
Sneaks in quietly.. takes all knives out of Suzannes reach.. shakes finger at her.. hehehehe hope you're doing well girl!

That sounds like a good idea! Take care of yourself Suzanne!

R Dog Walt, are those babies here yet? We want a report :cloud9:

I've seen pictures elsewhere. Yes, they're here and awfully cute. Boy/Girl twins that I'm sure are keeping her VERY busy.
 
It's been 2 years for us... Well actually, 15 months if you count the 9 months DW's body didn't ovulate. It's been a LONG emotional ride for the two of us, but the one thing keeping us "normal" is Disney... ALL THINGS DISNEY!! We went to WDW last year, (can't wait to go back), and we sometimes take a three hour drive just to get to the nearest Disney store so we can use our reward points from our DV card. As a matter of fact, I'm watching the Disney Channel as I type!! I really hope for the best for the two of you. You are not alone, and I know that you will have success as we know we will too. Keep your spirits up, and maybe one day we can meet (with our children) at the Castle!!!! :earsboy:
 
Sneaks in quietly.. takes all knives out of Suzannes reach.. shakes finger at her.. hehehehe hope you're doing well girl!

That sounds like a good idea! Take care of yourself Suzanne!



I've seen pictures elsewhere. Yes, they're here and awfully cute. Boy/Girl twins that I'm sure are keeping her VERY busy.



Oh you bad bad people. Sneaking in while I am away. Well, not exactly away away, sick away. I have had a real nasty Cold/Flu. Not my year Huh?

Yeah, actually I am now a bit afraid of using a knife and am being watched carefully.

How are all of you? I really am just around these days, nothing exciting for me. We are just about to finish packing up our old house to get it on the market. Mom got sick last weekend so I wasn't able to work there and then I was sick this weekend, hopefully we won't need to many more weekends there. We still have to conquer our backyards, which I was hoping to get finished before the spring blooms arrived, but not looking that way.

Oh we got some snow on Saturday morning for just a few minutes, but I was too sick to care :sick:.

I am so glad there babies are here, that is so exciting. Thank you Hematite for letting me know, it is always nice to read when one of our own is successful.

Well, stop by and talk to me later. I'm getting bored around here.

Suzanne
 
Well I've got pneumonia AGAIN. but otherwise not bad. Survived our 2 week Christmas at Disney holiday.
Would you like some snow? I 'm willing to share, we've got FEET of it.. there has to be 4-5 ft of snow out there. Its terrible.
At this rate spring will be here.. by July.
Hope everyones doing well. Its been awhile since I've been here.
 
:cutie: Thanks to everyone who posted!

Having a baby just didn't happen for me and my husband, and at some point pursuing it further seemed like too much, given all of the other things going on in our sometimes demanding lives. On the one hand, I feel like the decision was made for us, and on the other hand, I guess we just resigned ourselves to it, and said "It's not to be."

Sometimes it's very hard when people ask "Why don't you have kids?" I can't imagine putting someone on the spot like that. It's also hard when we're standing in a group of parents, and they're all talking about their children (it's such a conversation filler at parties, etc. -- people bond over their similar parenting experiences), while we just stand there. I live in an area where everyone seems to be part of a family with children. My own family isn't that close, and it's sometimes hard to think of my husband and I as a "real" family of two.

We've been to Disney a few times, and loved it! Interestingly, it didn't make me miss having children. A lot of the parents looked stressed! Since I'm childless, I try to find the up side, and I tell myself that at least I can do whatever I want on vacation, among other things.

I'm glad to have found this thread. Sometimes people wonder why we, without children, go to Disney. Obviously, they haven't been there! There's so much for adults to do, and it's the most cheerful place around. I love the tone of Disney more than anything. It's a "Look on the bright side!" world. :beach:

Everyone take care!
ReaderGirl :hippie:
 
:cutie: Thanks to everyone who posted!

Having a baby just didn't happen for me and my husband, and at some point pursuing it further seemed like too much, given all of the other things going on in our sometimes demanding lives. On the one hand, I feel like the decision was made for us, and on the other hand, I guess we just resigned ourselves to it, and said "It's not to be."

Sometimes it's very hard when people ask "Why don't you have kids?" I can't imagine putting someone on the spot like that. It's also hard when we're standing in a group of parents, and they're all talking about their children (it's such a conversation filler at parties, etc. -- people bond over their similar parenting experiences), while we just stand there. I live in an area where everyone seems to be part of a family with children. My own family isn't that close, and it's sometimes hard to think of my husband and I as a "real" family of two.

We've been to Disney a few times, and loved it! Interestingly, it didn't make me miss having children. A lot of the parents looked stressed! Since I'm childless, I try to find the up side, and I tell myself that at least I can do whatever I want on vacation, among other things.

I'm glad to have found this thread. Sometimes people wonder why we, without children, go to Disney. Obviously, they haven't been there! There's so much for adults to do, and it's the most cheerful place around. I love the tone of Disney more than anything. It's a "Look on the bright side!" world. :beach:

Everyone take care!
ReaderGirl :hippie:


:welcome: Readergirl to the Dis and to our group. It is nice to have a place to talk to others about being childless and to not be judged for not hving them and why you can't have them. Most of us have been in the same place and others, like debbiet1 has children, but never makes us feel bad.

I guess I am getting used to other people talking about their kids, we don't really hang out with other people, we are homebodies and my BF lets me love on her children as much as I want. I do still have moments where I get depressed about not having a child, but right now there is no room in our house for one and my mom is taking too much of my time to be able to care for one.

I absolutely LOVE :lovestruc Disney and it is growing on me that I can pick up almost any time and go anywhere (Disney) because I don't have children. I don't even really notice other children when we are there, unless we start talking to a friendly family. I do "borrow" my cousin's daughter and take her, in fact she is going for the second time in June to celebrate our birthday's. I took her on our first trip in June 2005 when she was 7 and she will be 10 just before we leave and she is really excited. I have also taken her 17 year old aunt and she didn't have such a great time. We usually take my mother, but Dh and I were able to go on a trip for his birthday last August and had a fabulous time.

I have decided if it is meant to be it will happen, but it doesn't seem meant to be, so I am going to make the best of it and go and enjoy WDW as much as I possibly can.

Suzanne princess:
 
Thanks for the warm welcome, Princess Suzanne! :cutie:

It *is* nice to do whatever you want on vacation, isn't it! Like you, I'm sometimes sad about not having kids, especially as I get older (I'm in my forties), but I also know that I need to appreciate the great life I have. :flower1:

It sounds like you have your hands full if you're taking care of a parent. It's a super nice thing to do, though.pixiedust:

There are so many adult things to do at Disney, and I enjoy them, but I love the kid things even more, probably because they appeal to the kid in me! Love the MK, love Mickey's Philharmagic, the Snow White ride, all of that good stuff. It's all so innocent and sweet; when I return to the real world, it's a bit of a shock!

Princess Suzanne and everyone else, have a great day!

ReaderGirl :hippie:
 
I don't know how people get through this. My dh and I have only been trying to get pregnant since September but I think there's something wrong. I know it's only been a few months but I'm almost 36 yrs old and we have been very focused in our 'trying'.

While we've been focused, I only mean that we've been aware of the best times of the month to try. I really really haven't been stressed about it (til now). I hate it when people tell me I just need to relax and it'll happen.

My sister just told me this week that she's going to start trying to get pregnant in the next couple of months and she'll probably have no problem - she got pregnant by accident last time.

To make matters worse, since I went off the pill, I feel like I can cry at the drop of a hat. I was never a crier, now I'm a mess.

My doctor has started tests on both DH and me. I go tomorrow for my second round of bloodwork and then we get the results next Thursday. I just got my period last night so I'm particularly down today. I just got off the phone with my bf who I was consoling over her house deal falling through and when I told her I was having a bad day, she said I'm so sorry but I have to go (she was at work).

I'm struggling to keep myself from just putting my head down on my desk and and having a good cry. My boss would think an alien had taken over my body - he always teases me that I must be half man because I'm not emotional - that would show him!

Sorry for the long rambling rant. I needed to let off some steam.
:sad1:

~Mollygirl
 
This is my first time posting. i'm not quite in the same category but we are ttc our second child. We have had three miscarriages this year and are now being sent for genetic testing. Has anyone else done this? I don't know what the test looks for. my husband and I do not want to know what may happen to us in the future but only what is stopping these pregnancies. Thanks for any help
 
Hello Ladies!!!!!!!!!!!

(Sensitive announcement below)



It is with both caution and excitment that I tell you all that I am pregnant. I am in shock, but a happy shock.

4 years TTC, 9 IUIs, 3 IVFs, 1FET, and here I am now! Sorry that I didn't tell you sooner, but I wanted to wait until we saw the heartbeat (which we saw yesterday). As you might remember, I was planning on doing a surrogate cycle this summer, and decided to do another IUI to kill time. Well the IUI worked. My surrogate (my cousin) is so very sweet, and has told me that her offer still stands whenever I need her for #2, etc.

I just wanted to tell you all!! I promise not to post pregnancy updates etc on this board, so unless you hear otherwise, you can just assume that things are going smoothly!

Thatsmines -- Hello and welcome. I had a couple different kinds of genetic testing. One was the basic where they just tested me, then we went to CHOP and had blood taken from both myself and DH, along with cells from our son that passed away at birth. Everything was sent to a top lab in the state of Washington, and we were given very detailed results. Best of luck to you!!!

Mollygirl -- Hang in there (don't worry, I won't tell you to "relax" LOL!!!!). It's great that you are getting bloodwork done (I assume FSH, LH, P4, to confirm egg reserves and confirm that you are ovulating). You are still within the window of "normal" TTC time, which is a great thing! I hope you get that BFP soon!!

Readergirl -- Hello and welcome to you as well!! I love all the adult things at WDW, and the kid stuff too! LOL!! I hate returning to the real world too!

Debbie -- UGH on the pneumonia!!!!!! How are you feeling now???

Suzanne -- Hello Hello!!! How are you doing???

A big Hello to all that I missed!!! :goodvibes
 
Hello Ladies!!!!!!!!!!!

(Sensitive announcement below)



It is with both caution and excitment that I tell you all that I am pregnant. I am in shock, but a happy shock.

4 years TTC, 9 IUIs, 3 IVFs, 1FET, and here I am now! Sorry that I didn't tell you sooner, but I wanted to wait until we saw the heartbeat (which we saw yesterday). As you might remember, I was planning on doing a surrogate cycle this summer, and decided to do another IUI to kill time. Well the IUI worked. My surrogate (my cousin) is so very sweet, and has told me that her offer still stands whenever I need her for #2, etc.

I just wanted to tell you all!! I promise not to post pregnancy updates etc on this board, so unless you hear otherwise, you can just assume that things are going smoothly!

Suzanne -- Hello Hello!!! How are you doing???


Oh Nennie, I am so happy for you. Send some of that luck my way. I am so happy for you :cloud9:

I had been doing fine with it until I heard about this pregnant "man". I told DH maybe he could get lucky and have a baby for us. I just keep having to remind myself that we aren't going to be parents and keep dealing with it.

I have been sick, but am better now. Mom has been really sick and I have been killing myself to take care of her and I do mean everything. I am so tired and I have absolutely no help. DH and I have had no time together and I can't get anyone to stay with her so we can. I know we are supposed to care for our parents, but my mom is too young to be getting this way.

I am still trying to get over the shooting at our hospital last week and losing a friend :sad1: .

Life goes on and I need to get with it, I guess :upsidedow


Suzanne
 
Nennie! I'm so happy for you.

If you're interested in sharing, I'd be happy to hear updates via pm.



Welcome to the newbies.
 

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